Okay, so maybe not every Nigerian in America did every single one of these eight things this week, but you've most certainly thought about each one at some point in your time here in the U.S.
So, as a healthy distraction from all the 'hating' going on online this week, here are the top 8 things most Nigerians in America did or thought of at least once this week!
1. YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED MOVING BACK TO NIGERIA
There’s no place like home.
You miss home.
Everything around you reminds you of how much you miss home. (Don’t even let me start talking about Christmas!)
Though life may have been a little difficult when you were back in Nigeria, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re convinced you now have the skills, knowledge, and possibly, the resources to make a name for yourself back home. That, and the fact that whatever little $funds$ you’ve saved up, multiplied by the current currency exchange rate, makes you a little bit of a high roller back in Nigeria!
2. YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED NOT MOVING BACK TO NIGERIA
- Boko Haram
- Heat .....and his evil cousin, Humidity
- 3-Hour Gridlocked traffic
- Babalawo (Witch Doctors)
- Armed robbers
- Going broke
- Running water
- Armed Robber
These are just few of the reasons you are seriously NOT considering idea #1.
3. YOU THOUGHT OF, OR CAME UP WITH A NEW BUSINESS IDEA
You’re a natural-born entrepreneur.
Every thing you see presents a new business opportunity for a niche market back home. When you’re at a store, you constantly see products and think, “Man, if I can just get a container and ship all these things back home to my shop, I’d make so much!!!”
4. YOU PRAYED SEVERAL TIMES THIS WEEK
Though prayer is common to every follower of Christ, you as a Nigerian, take praying to a whole other level. Whether you spoke in tongues or in English, you at some point this week got on your knees and pled with Jesus for one or more of the following:
- Expansion of Blessings and Provision
- Heavenly Thunder-Fire
- Visa Approval
- Mama In The Village.
5. YOU MADE A MEAL THAT REQUIRED AT LEAST 20-MINUTES OF HEAVY DUTY STIRRING, 30-MINUTES OF MARINADING, 16-MINUTES OF BOILING, ETC.
- Eba and Okro stew
- Bisquick and tomato stew
- Semovita and Ofe Nsala
- Amala and Stew stew
- Pounded yam
- Fufu and Goat stew
- Jollof-rice and Moi-Moi
- White rice
- Rice rice
- Pepper soup
Nigerians are the only people I know who will spend 3 hours making a meal that takes less than 10 minutes to swallow! But, it’s soooooo worth it, right? [To non-Nigerian readers: if you ever want to know what it will smell like in heaven, walk by a Nigerian’s house around dinner time!]
6. YOU APPLIED FOR VISA FOR AT LEAST ONE PERSON IN NIGERIA
We are a communal people. Which means, someone at home is relying on you for income. They might be a close relative, a friend from boarding school, or a neighbor who use to know you that time when you were living in Surulere, Lagos.
7. YOU CALLED YOUR PARENTS. WHEN YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT SOME STRUGGLES you were having here, THEY PRAYED FOR YOU FOR AT LEAST 39 MINUTES
Your mom may have, or may not have prayed these exact word, “May the thunder-fire of heaven smash and destroy ALL YOUR ENEMIES!!!!!! The devil is a liar! No weapon formed against my child shall prosper in JEEESUUSS NAME! I rebuke every automatic demon, every computerized snake, and every elongated cockroach trying to attack your life! DIE!!!!! In Jeeessuus name! …..also, let Boko Haram fall down and DIE TOO!!”
8. YOU CHECKED THE PRICE OF PLANE TICKETS AT LEAST TWICE
Christmas is coming. As a Nigerian, Christmas shopping starts now!
Your flight search may range anywhere from Arik Air, to Virgin Atlantic, to Bristish Airways. Chances are, you’ve already started purchasing summer wears to take home because when half of your neighborhhod hears you’re home, you will become father Christmas!
+++ Enjoy the bonus! +++