How to Share the Gospel Without Getting Punched in the Face

When I was a young Christian in college in New Jersey, I signed up for a few discipleship classes on evangelism, the “how to share your faith” kind. I was eager, bright-eyed, and convinced I was about to be equipped with world-changing strategies.

One of the first methods they taught still makes me laugh (and cringe) to this day. You’d walk up to someone and ask, “Have you ever lied? Ever hated anyone? Ever stolen anything?” When they admitted it, you’d smile sweetly and say, “Well, by your own admission, you’re a liar, a murderer, and a thief… and the Bible says people like that are going to hell.” Then you’d encourage them to put their faith in Jesus to avoid eternal fire.

I remember thinking: This evangelism style is going to get me punched in the face more times than it will get people into the Kingdom.

Later, they showed us a gentler approach: walk someone through a chain of Bible verses that lead straight to Jesus. That one seemed promising… until one day I was walking to class with a transfer student from China. I confidently started guiding him through the passages and explaining what Jesus did on the cross. He stopped mid-step, gave me a puzzled look, and asked, “Wait… who is Jesus?”

I froze. I had assumed he already knew who Jesus was and just didn’t believe. Turns out, in the part of China where he grew up, he had never even heard about Jesus, much less read a Bible. Suddenly I was fumbling my way through, realizing I was speaking a language his heart couldn’t yet understand.

That moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten:

We have one Gospel of Jesus Christ that NEVER changes; however, faithful evangelism requires us to meet the different heart conditions with different approaches.

Just so we’re clear, the unchanging Gospel is this: Our sin has separated us from God, leaving us relationally and spiritually cut off from Him. In His mercy, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die in our place and pay for our sins. When we put our faith in Him as Savior and Lord, we are restored to a loving relationship with God, now and forever.

That message never changes.

The way we share it, though, should depend on the heart in front of us - whether it’s open, resistant, wounded, or confused. Faithful evangelism means meeting people where they are emotionally, spiritually, culturally, and relationally, and speaking in a way their heart can hear.

It’s this theme I want to help us dig into in Acts 16:11–34, where Paul travels to Philippi and encounters three very different hearts. The timeless truth we’ll see in these encounters is this: The Gospel of Jesus Christ meets people where they are, but it never leaves them as they are.

Let’s start in Acts 16:11–15:

“From Troas we put out to sea and sailed straight for Samothrace, and the next day we went on to Neapolis. 12 From there we traveled to Philippi, a Roman colony and the leading city of that district[a] of Macedonia. And we stayed there several days. 13 On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there. 14 One of those listening was a woman from the city of Thyatira named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth. She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. 15 When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. “If you consider me a believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my house.” And she persuaded us.”

Lydia is the first of three people Paul encounters in this city, and through her story, and the stories of the two others, we discover this Big Idea:

Faithful evangelism requires us to meet different heart conditions with different approaches, but always with one Gospel.

Fact is, not every heart is the same. The way you share Jesus with a Muslim friend sincerely seeking truth will be different from how you engage a skeptical university student who thinks every pastor is just after money. In Acts 16, Paul models three distinct gospel approaches, each shaped by the condition of the heart in front of him.

The first heart we meet is the open heart, the kind already leaning in, already searching, already being drawn by God.  And we see that in Lydia in Philippi.

The Open Heart (Reaching Out To The Seeker) Lydia – v.11-16

Verse 12 says Philippi was a “leading city” in the district of Macedonia. So, Philippi is a hub of commerce and influence. Think New York City, Silicon Valley, or Victoria Island in Lagos, where power, wealth, and opportunity converge.

Right there in the middle of it all was Lydia, a high-end businesswoman. Verse 14 says she was “…a dealer in purple cloth.” In those days, purple was the color of royalty and the wealthy elite. Producing it was expensive, so selling it was lucrative. Were Lydia living in our time, she would be running an exclusive fashion house, designing for the likes of Gucci, Hermès, or Louis Vuitton.

More important than her wealth and prominence though is that the Bible says she was a worshipper of God. This is an important piece of detail because for one, Lydia is not a Jew. She isn’t one of the chosen people and she has not put her faith in Jesus.

The Bible slips in an even more important detail: she was “a worshiper of God.” She wasn’t Jewish, and she didn’t yet know Jesus, but she feared the God of Israel. Somewhere along the way, she must have heard about Him and recognized His hand in her success. Unlike many today, her wealth hadn’t made her proud; it had made her curious. She wanted to know more.

That’s why she gathered with other women by the river outside the city gate, discussing the things of God. Paul had gone there looking for a place of prayer but instead found a ready-made group of female seekers. Apparently, there weren’t enough Jewish men to form a synagogue, so the women met here instead. It’s this “Bible Study” that Paul and his companions pop into and begins sharing the story of Jesus. As he engaged their minds with the Scriptures, verse 14 says,“the Lord opened her heart to respond.” By the end of the day, she and her whole household were baptized, and she was urging Paul and his team to stay at her home.

Lydia was an “easy catch” so to speak. She represents the people in your life whose heart is already seeking, already softened by God, and ready to receive the truth when it's clearly and graciously explained. That’s exactly how Paul reaches her. He doesn’t argue or pressure; he simply explains, and God opens her heart to respond.

There are people in your life just like Lydia where God has already laid out all the groundwork. They are not Christians yet, but they are asking honest questions, showing interest in faith, and wrestling with what they’ve heard about Jesus. Your role is to gently guide them, through open conversations and Scripture. These are also the people you invite to Bible study, to discipleship group, and to Church.

So let me ask: who has God placed around you with an open heart? Who needs you to sit with them and explain patiently and thoughtfully what you learned in the Bible? Who needs to be invited to your small group, your discipleship group, or even your church this week?

Remember: Faithful evangelism requires us to meet different heart conditions with different approaches, but always with one Gospel.

The Oppressed Heart (Rescuing The Enslaved) Slave Girl - v.16-19

The second kind of heart you’ll encounter when sharing the Gospel is the oppressed heart, the person bound, tormented, and trapped by spiritual forces beyond their control. We see it clearly in the story of the slave girl in verse 16, which is where we pick up the story:

“Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a female slave who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling. 17 She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved.” 18 She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so annoyed that he turned around and said to the spirit, “In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!” At that moment the spirit left her. 19 When her owners realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities.”  

If you recall where things stand, Paul and his team are still in Philippi, staying in Lydia’s home. They’re on their way to a prayer gathering when they’re intercepted by a loud, disruptive, and demon-possessed young girl. Verse 16 says she had a “spirit of divination,” literally in Greek “a spirit of Pythona,” linked to the python snake associated with the god Apollo. In other words, it’s bad!

Let’s pause here and do some demonology 101.

Demons are created beings. They are not “gods,” and they are not all-knowing. They can’t read your mind. They can’t tell the future. Only God can. What they can do though, after thousands of years of watching human behavior, is predict fairly well human behavioral patterns and manipulate events so their “prediction” seemingly come true. That’s why if you go to a Baba-Alawo or a spiritualist for success charms or insight into your life, their words can feel eerily accurate. Don’t be fooled. It’s not your mother, daughter, dad, or great grand uncle they are speaking to. It’s a demon. They have a global, national, and regional network (Ephesians 6:12) of demonic influence passing along information and arranging outcomes to keep you hooked, and that’s how the girl’s owners made so much money off her.

So, naturally, when Paul comes into town with the stronghold-breaking power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the demon in this girl is threatened. Whenever she saw him heading to prayer or sharing Christ, she would scream after them. Now, her words in verse 17… “These men are servants of the Most High God…” sound almost supportive, right? Well, don’t get it twisted. Darkness doesn’t partner with light. It’s for good reason that Jesus alerts us in john 10:10 that the enemy’s only mission is “to steal, kill, and destroy.” This girl was being a massive disruption and distraction to Paul’s preaching and ministry. Have you ever sat in a movie theatre trying to pay attention while people are outside talking or yelling loudly?

Eventually, Paul had enough. This wasn’t a situation that called calm Bible study where he explained to her the implication of Ephesians 6. This called for a Spirit-led confrontation. Paul turned, looked straight at her, and in the authority of Jesus Christ commanded the demon to leave. “In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!”

In one instant, the spirit was gone.

Now, before we get carried away, I know how we in Nigeria get excited about spiritual warfare. We love to “call down thunder fire” on our enemies and declare that every “monitoring spirit” (usually our co-worker) must fall and die.

Okay, breathe.

This young girl wasn’t an enemy to destroy; she was a victim to rescue. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically oppressed, she was not only possessed by a demon but enslaved by abusive men who exploited her for profit. As far as we know, she’s not Jewish, and she’s definitely not a Roman citizen. She was likely sold or stolen from her family and trapped in a system where she had no voice and no rights, until Jesus set her free through Paul.

Here’s the reality: not everyone you meet will have an open heart like Lydia. Some will have an oppressed heart like this girl. In those moments, you may need to respond in one of two ways.

There will be times when it calls for a direct spiritual confrontation, where, like Paul, you address the spirit operating in their life and say with full authority, “In the name of Jesus Christ, come out of him (or her)!”

Then there will be other times that aren’t as dramatic, but are no less spiritual, moments when God calls you into a season of prayer and fasting to seek an outpouring of His power. Because sooner or later, He may prompt you to lay your hands on someone you’ve been ministering to, and in the name of Jesus Christ, pray out loud for the disease that’s destroying them to leave, or for the tormenting thoughts that haunt them to be silenced in Jesus’ name.

It’s so important you understand this: the very same Holy Spirit who empowered Paul to cast out that demon, the same Spirit who appeared as tongues of fire in Acts 2 and ignited the church to change the world, is the same Holy Spirit who lives in you today,  if you have put your faith in Jesus Christ.

You did not receive a junior Holy Spirit!!

The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11) lives in you right now. Yet, if we’re honest, many of us have barely begun to tap into the power of God dwelling within us.

So, let me ask you: who in your life is walking around with an oppressed heart? Bound by addiction, fear, trauma, or demonic influence? Who needs to encounter the power of the Living God, not just in a sermon, but through you? Who needs you to pray, to fast, to lay hands on them in Jesus’ name, and to boldly declare freedom over their life?

Remember: Faithful evangelism requires us to meet different heart conditions with different approaches, but always with one Gospel.

The Hardened Heart (Awakening the Doubter) Jailer – v.20–34

The third kind of heart you’ll encounter when sharing the Gospel is what I call the hardened heart, the person who doesn’t care, doesn’t ask questions, and maybe even sees faith as weakness. In Acts 16, we meet that heart in the form of the Philippian jailer.

Remember where we left off? As soon as the demonic spirit left the slave girl, she became worthless to her owners (I’d like to think she was later “picked up” by the Philippian believers to become part of the body of Christ). Whatever the case may be, her owner’s outrage quickly turned toward Paul and Silas. They dragged them before the magistrates, accused them of inciting a riot, stripped them naked, flogged them severely, and locked them in the inner prison,  neck, hands, and feet chained in stocks.

And that’s where we pick up the story: “About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. All the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the doors open, he drew his sword to kill himself, thinking the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, ‘Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!’ The jailer called for lights, rushed in, and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’”

Let me introduce this jailer.

He is a retired Roman soldier, a veteran of war. Now older, he’s been assigned to run a prison, a common post for military retirees. This man is no joke. He is a tough guy. He has seen war, he has carried bodies off battlefields, dealt with hardened criminals, and assumed every prisoner was guilty. He lives by three codes: honor, loyalty, and Caesar.

When it comes to faith, he’s not curious like Lydia. He’s not spiritually tormented like the slave girl. He is closed off. Uninterested. He doesn’t care about your bible study, he doesn’t want to come to your church service, and he doesn’t care about your emotional testimony.

Know anyone like that? So, how in the world do you reach a heart like that?

Well, there’s God’s part, and then there’s your part. In this case, God’s part was shaking the prison with an earthquake and breaking chains loose, but Paul’s part was just as crucial, it was to stay in prison when he could have escaped.

I suspect Paul anticipated what would have happened next because when the jailer saw the open doors, his first instinct was to take his own life. This wasn’t only about fear of Roman punishment, it was about honor. He was so duty bound to king and country that he would rather take his own life than be dishonoured for not properly doing his duty. 

Now, let’s be honest: if you or I were Paul, and we were wrongly imprisoned and thrown in a jail cell, and at night, our chains fell off and the doors swung wide, what would most of us do? I think I speak for nearly all humanity when I say we’d channel the imaginary love child of Carl Lewis and Sha’Carri Richardson and set a new world record getting out of there! Then we’d stroll into church Sunday morning, grinning ear to ear, ready to testify about God’s miraculous deliverance.

But Paul didn’t run.

He saw a bigger miracle in front of him, not the falling off of chains, but the God-ordained opportunity to reach a man whose heart was still imprisoned.

When Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” he shattered the jailer’s assumptions. This hardened man believed no prisoner had honor, integrity, or compassion. Yet here was Paul, protecting his life when he had no reason to. That act of selfless sacrifice cracked his heart wide open, which is why his next action in verse 29 was falling to his knees in front of Paul, trembling and asking, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

If the God Paul served was powerful enough to break open prison walls to free him, yet loving enough to prompt Paul to stay and protect his life, then the jailer was all in for this God.

Think about this man’s heart again. It wasn’t a Bible study that reached him. It wasn’t a deliverance prayer. It was Paul’s refusal to abandon him, even after being beaten and humiliated by the system this man served.

So, who does this jailer look like in your life?

You and I have people in our lives whose hearts seem impenetrable, angry, cynical, resistant to anything about Jesus. You’ve invited them to church; they didn’t come. You’ve prayed for them; they haven’t been saved. You may have even tried to “bind the spirit” of witchcraft you think is operating in their lives, yet they haven’t changed.

The truth is, people like the jailer may be waiting to see if your life actually matches your message. They want to know: Has this Gospel truly changed you? Sometimes, the loudest sermon you can preach is your life. For some people, the Gospel won’t reach their hearts until they see it transforming yours, because you may be the clearest message of Jesus they will ever read.

And that’s why Brennan Manning’s words hit so hard: “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, but walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

Jesus said it another way in Matthew 5:16: “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

So, where in your life is the Gospel’s light dimming? Who in your workplace, your school, your community, or your family needs to see a living, breathing example of Jesus before they’ll ever listen to your words?

Faithful evangelism requires us to meet the different heart conditions of people with different approaches, always with one Gospel.

Three people. Three heart conditions. One unchanging Gospel.

Lydia, with her open heart, reminds us that some people are already leaning toward God, they just need someone to sit down, listen, and clearly explain the truth.

The slave girl, with her oppressed heart, reminds us that some are bound and tormented, and will only be set free when someone full of the Holy Spirit is willing to pray, fast, confront, and speak freedom in Jesus’ name.

The jailer, with his hardened heart, reminds us that some will never be moved by words alone, they need to see the Gospel lived out in sacrificial, costly love before they’ll believe it’s real.

Different hearts. Different approaches. One Gospel that saves them all.

So let me leave you with this:

• Who around you has an open heart that’s just waiting for you to start the conversation?

• Who has an oppressed heart that’s waiting for you to fight for them in prayer?

• Who has a hardened heart that needs to see your life match your message?

This week, you may not encounter all three but you will encounter at least one, and when you do, remember: faithful evangelism isn’t about using the same method every time. It’s about asking the Holy Spirit to help you meet people where they are… while trusting the Gospel to never leave them as they are.

So, whose heart is God asking you to reach this week? And how will you respond?

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