My wife recently took a much-deserved weekend off for a personal retreat, thereby entrusting me with the lives of my two awesome little dudes.
I survived... (and lived to write about it).
We actually had a blast, but never in a million years did I think I'd ever need to utter these words to any male human. Oh the JOY of being a dad!
If you're a dad, you know where I'm about to go. If you're not yet a dad, don't worry, it's coming! In the mean time, you should accustom yourself to statements like these because it will become the soundtrack of your life!
So for your benefit, here are 12 THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY, UNTIL I HAD BOYS.
- No. No. You have to drink from the bottle buddy. My breast does NOT do that!
- It's called Bacon. Yes. It's one of the things we THANK Jesus for.
- Who flushed my toothbrush down the toilet?!?
- Your poop is Green because you won't eat anything but Lucky Charms!"
- NO. You can not climb back into my belly button!
- Please take that bra OFF your head.
- Mom JUST showered you! Why does your hair smell like apple sauce?
- Hey...hey.... you have to hold your pee-pee straight and point it towards the toilet...sloooowwly.."
- No. You can’t watch one more episode of Mickey Mouse clubhouse! No. You can’t give mommy another kissy-kiss. And No. You can’t play one more round of bouncy-bounce with your brother! GO TO SLEEP NOW!
- Stop eating the banana peel and EAT THE BANANA!
- Sorry buddy, but you can't shower WITH your blanket.
- "I LOVE YOU BOTH MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!....Except for mommy, she's hot!"
And there you have it!
The joys of daddyhood!